by Henry Hill
"Frankly, I can think of few things that would have made it harder to reach the point where I started getting a grip than being told that none of it was my fault. Mental slaps to the face like this one did me more good than any volume of sympathy.
There’s a word for behaviour where people who want what’s best for you – be it loved ones or well-meaning officials – seek to comfort you by acting as if you’re powerless in the face of your problems. It’s called enabling.
Yes, there are factors at play that are beyond your control. So what? Aside from a few actual medical conditions, how many instances are there where some self-belief and self-discipline – ‘willpower’ – wouldn’t help? Even if it’s only ten per cent of someone’s problem, that’s ten per cent they can fix.
Blame is a corollary of responsibility, and responsibility is empowering and motivating. Genuinely believing that you can achieve the change you want makes it much easier to do it. Powerlessness, essential to blamelessness, is a false and disabling comfort."
I am afraid I don't have much sympathy for fat people. I have observed fat people and I have noticed that they are continually snacking on cakes, sweets and biscuits. Nobody is forcing them to eat that junk. They really need to exercise some self-discipline.
I know a fat lady who in social situations where there are cakes and biscuits, will always scoff a load of them. Sometimes I really want to say to this lady, "Do you really think you should eat that piece of cake? Do you think it would be good for you?" I keep silent, because I imagine she would be upset if I said that.